Bullshit and paperwork. You'd have made an excellent lawyer. [...] I was looking at environmental law. The kind where I could just write briefs. Not argue. For trees and things that also couldn't argue.
Making a big red firetruck go wee-ooo-wee-ooo turned out to be my true calling instead. It all worked out. Hear tree law is some serious business though. Esp in the PNW.
Got my name tattooed on her after the breakup, tried to catfish my brother, moved across the country and drunk dialed me six times in four years. Now you.
You'd know which trees had the deepest pockets though. Who's got connections with maple trees and who's working with Big Apple.
Okay that's pretty fucking ruined. Didn't have to deal with the booty calls or the new girlfriend who looks exactly like you or the weird accidental 3 AM like on a picture from like three years ago at least
Also if you like a girl's style you can go home with her, steal shit from her closet and then ghost her. This was actually the first thing they taught me at the Lesbian Academy.
Look. You guys just don't necessarily look that much alike to me.
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DM 1/22
What kind of pain in the ass lawyer did you want to be.
Still have something of yours displayed is the best.
DM 1/22
Never wear their favorite shirt anymore because you know it still smells like you? Love to see it
DM 1/22
[...] I was looking at environmental law. The kind where I could just write briefs. Not argue. For trees and things that also couldn't argue.
Worst you ever ruined an ex. Go.
DM 1/22
Got my name tattooed on her after the breakup, tried to catfish my brother, moved across the country and drunk dialed me six times in four years. Now you.
DM 1/22
Six times in four years is light. I got that in two months. Once. [...] I did have to kill the one. Which probably wins.
But that's not a fun story.
DM 1/22
Okay that's pretty fucking ruined. Didn't have to deal with the booty calls or the new girlfriend who looks exactly like you or the weird accidental 3 AM like on a picture from like three years ago at least
DM 1/22
Planning for the future. But now you remind me. God. I was really lucky no one ever tried to date Beau after me.
DM 1/22
Lesbians are insane, but in, like, a hot way.
DM 1/22
Also. You forgot about my sister? Who you see every day at responder training?
Did your nose break float bone fragments to your brain, or.
DM 1/22
Look. You guys just don't necessarily look that much alike to me.
DM 1/22
Difficult to ghost anyone. These days though. Without being actually a ghost.
Interesting.